Emmett Cullen and the Marshmallow
by simply-dazzling001
Summary: Post Breaking Dawn, possible spoilers! Nessie's at home, and getting hungry. But Emmett's the only one at home who can cook edible food. What happens when she learns of Emmett's fear of......*gasp* marshmallows?


**Author's Note : I do not own Twilight, Star Wars, or the Macarena. **

It was a nice afternoon at the Cullen residence. Renesmee was reading one of her mother's favorite books, _Breaking Dawn_. Emmett and Jacob were sitting on Esme's white modern couch playing "Star Wars: Battlefront" on their 50-inch plasma-screen TV. Alice had taken Jasper and Edward shopping (*shudder*), Carlisle and Bella had gone hunting, and Esme was in the backyard working on her new garden. Rosalie was somewhere near the mall as well, though Jasper and Edward usually tried to avoid the "You Look FAB!" beauty salon. It was around 4 p.m. and Renesmee was getting hungry, as she hadn't eaten for nearly 4 hours.

"Uncle Emmett, can you—"

"DIE, TIE-Fighters!! DIIIEEEEE!!!!!"

Renesmee turned to Jacob, arching her eyebrow.

"Spaceship," he explained.

Renesmee nodded. She decided to try again. "Uncle Em, can you make me a snack? I'm getting kinda hungry." Emmett was so focused on destroying his TIE-Fighters that it took him a few seconds to respond. "Huh? Oh," his face falling as he realized that making his niece a snack would require getting off of the couch and leaving his quest for galactic conquest.

"Aww……….Come on, Ness…I'm only 40 stormtroopers away from conquering the galaxy!"

-- *Zap!* --

"Thirty-nine…!" he exclaimed.

Renesmee finally gave up. "Ugh. Fine. Go save the galaxy or whatever, and _then_ please make me a snack."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Ten minutes later, Renesmee had reached a particularly interesting part of her book and so did not notice the "VICTORY" sign displayed on Emmett's side of the screen. What she _did_ notice, however, was Emmett cackling, "BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!!!"

Renesmee sighed. Her uncle could be so childish sometimes.

"Behold!" Emmett continued, "I AM THE ALL-POWERFUL EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN! RULER OF THE GALAXY!!! FEAR MEEEEE!!!!!!!" Emmett began doing a victory dance in triumph.

_Correction,_ Renesmee thought. _Emmett was childish __all__ the time_.

"ARGH!" Jacob cried in frustration. "Drat…..." He squeezed the gaming controllers in his anger and accidentally created a Jacob-shaped mold in the plastic. "Oops. I think we need a new controller." Nessie looked up from her book and saw Emmett pumping his fist into the air and continuing his victory dance.

"Congrats, Uncle Emmett. _Now _can you make me a snack? Please?" Emmett ignored her and began doing the Macarena. Jacob, still frustrated from losing, shouted at Emmett, "Hey, leech!" and threw one of Esme's nearby _Home Decorating _magazines at the back of his head. Emmett stopped dancing and glared sharply at Jacob. "How _DARE_ you address me in that manner?!? I am the all-powerful conqueror of the galaxy! I demand—"

"Ahem," interrupted Renesmee.

"Huh? Oh, right, your snack. Fine," he grumbled, and head for the kitchen. "What do you want?" Renesmee smiled.

"Can you see if Esme bought marshmallows?" Emmett was already in the kitchen, hand on the cabinet handle. He looked confused.

"What the Volturi is a marsh—agh!!" When Emmett had opened the cabinet, a small, white plastic bag fell out and hit him on the head. Emmett glanced at the package and screamed again.

"EEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!!"

He jumped to his feet and scrambled to the other side of the kitchen, panting heavily out of instinct. All the commotion had interrupted Renesmee's reading, so she asked curiously, "What _was_ that??"

Jacob looked over his shoulder. "Marshmallows."

"Oh, good," Nessie replied, getting hungrier by the minute. Emmett had regained control of himself and now walked back to the cabinet door asking "Marshmallows?? _That's_ what they were?"

Jacob snorted. "Duh. What'd you think they were?"

Emmett looked embarrassed. Sheepishly, he answered "Um. Ghost poop." [ Based on an idea from the Baby Blues comic strip]

Jacob snorted again. "_Ghost poop?_ You believe in _ghosts??"_

Emmett glared fiercely at Jacob, who had started laughing again, and countered "You believe in vampires?"

Jacob stopped laughing and turned to look at his half-vampire wife, then back at his vampire uncle-in-law.

"Touché."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

5 minutes later, Renesmee was snacking on Emmett's homemade s'mores. Moving at vampire speed, it probably would have taken him less them five minutes to make them, but it took a while to convince Emmett that the white bag, did in fact, contain harmless marshmallows, instead of ghost poop. Renesmee and Jacob had to call in Esme, who was working in her garden, to explain to Emmett what exactly marshmallows were.

"Mom! What _are _these things?" Emmett had asked, once Esme had entered the kitchen.

"Those are marshmallows, dear," Esme had answered.

"And what are marshmallows?"

"A sweet, spongy confection enjoyed by humans generally created with sugar or corn syrup, water, sugar gelatin, gum arabic, and artificial flavoring."

Emmett stared blankly. "So…………they're _not_ ghost poop?"

Esme sighed. "No, Emmett, they are not ghost poop. May I return to my garden now, please?"

Renesmee smiled. "Sure, grandma. Thanks."

"You're welcome, Nessie. And please, call me Esme. I feel really old when you call me _grandma_." Esme winked.

Renesmee laughed. "Sure, _Esme_."

Emmett scoffed. "Oh, and _I _can't call you Esme?"

Esme laughed and left the house.

"Grr to you and your dazzling half-vampire ways, Ness," Emmett said.

Renesmee laughed. "Whatever. And thanks again for the s'mores, Uncle Em. I'll be sure to tell Dad that you took great care of me."

"FINALLY!!" Emmett bellowed. "Your dad hasn't let me play _any_ of my DS games since the….er, _Volvo _incident."

Renesmee laughed.

**The end!! Let me know what you think! Read and review please :] **


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